My Journey's History - Round 1

I have done some hard soul-searching over the past 6 weeks.  Round 1 was awesome.  I learned more during that round then I have since.
My first round began with my first injection being on a Friday, followed by 3 days of loading.  My doctor said I could load over the weekend and begin the VLC diet (Very Low Calorie) on Monday.  Awesome, an extra day to eat whatever I wanted.

NOTHING prepared me for how I felt on Monday and Tuesday.  Anytime you shock your body by abruptly taking away the amount and types of food it is used to, it is not going to like you very much.  Mine was no exception.  I felt like I was going to die.  My mind was going in a million different directions.  I thought, "oh great, I just spent a bunch of money on this diet and they said you wouldn't be hungry and I'm starving", "Ahhhhh, another diet that isn't going to work", and my favorite was "if I continue to feel like this, I'm quitting".  But the worst was yet to come.

I got up early on Wednesday morning to go to the bathroom.  My stomach was growling and it hurt so bad all I could do was sit there and cry, but what I noticed was the change in my mental outlook.  I was craving carbs when I suddenly remembered that I could have Melba Toast.  I was thrilled and all of the sudden my hunger subsided.  That was my first learning experience of many more to come.

Something I have noticed is that all of the tv commercials focusing on food come on when you are on a diet and can't have it.  I would fix my dinner and sit down to watch tv with my husband, only to be greeted by "have it your way" and "think outside the bun".  I craved a big juicy hamburger sooooooo bad, but I was determined to stick to my diet.

The cravings and obsession with fast food lasted for about 2 1/2 weeks, then they were gone.  All of the sudden I realized that I didn't care if I ate or not.  I found I would eat, but I got full faster and sometimes wouldn't be able to even eat the 500 calories a day that I was allowed to have.

My mental attitude had changed.  I began looking at the amount of food that people were eating and realized that the amount of food I had been eating was the reason I weighed what I did.  I realized I didn't need that amount of food and I began listening to my body.  My body and I were in tune.  I learned how to pay attention to whether I was actually hungry or if I was eating just because I loved to eat?  Better yet, I learned how to pay attention to when I was "content" and needed to stop eating.  Another learning experience.